horrorwench was right: H & R Block is awful.

They really, REALLY need to go to hell and die with pain. You know what's sorta interesting? It doesn't really take that long to find a bunch of complaints about them. Also, they rip people off. Oh, and even more hilariously, they screwed up their own taxes last year.

So, in 2002, my tax preparer somehow completely failed to file a part-year resident tax return for Massachusetts (the year I moved from Massachusetts to NY). Naturally, Massachusetts found out about New York's money, got pissed, and sent me a nasty letter in December.

So I tried to contact him, but he wasn't at the office anymore because it's seasonal. So they sent me to the District Office, where I met with someone else, who said she'd fill out an amended tax return to Massachusetts.

(That meeting, I should tell you, took place during an all-staff H & R Block meeting going on in the same room. I learned a lot of interesting things during that meeting, such as the secret discounts they don't advertise to the general public. Like a 10 percent discount for senior citizens and I think another 10 percent discount if your income is under a certain level.)

So lady at the District Office filled out an amended return and I sent it off to Massachusetts, fully expecting to get back a "Thanks for the return, we're all good now" letter from Massachusetts. (Like the one I got from the IRS after they freaked out because obviously I was defrauding them because I filed jointly with my husband but DIDN'T CHANGE MY NAME after I got married. I'm so going to hell.)

But no. I got another snotty letter from Massachusetts saying, "Thanks for the amended return, but there's still a giant discrepancy and you still owe taxes. We'll bill ya! Kthankxbi!"

So I tried to call the lady who filed the amended return at the number she gave me. The receptionist said, "WTF? There's no one by that name here. Try this number."

I called that number. "WTF? Never heard of her. Try this number."

I called that number. "Who? Try this number."

I finally reached her, but she didn't remember me. And she didn't have me in her records. And she didn't understand the issue. AND she wouldn't let me explain what was going on and kept interrupting me every two seconds. It got to the point where I was yelling at the top of my lungs just trying to get her to shut up so I could explain what had happened. The conversation went something like this:

Me: "So in 2002, [xxx] filed my tax return at H & R Block. In December 2005, I got a letter from Massachusetts..."
Her: "I filed your tax return in 2002?"
Me: "No, [xxx] at [xxx] branch did. Then last year I got a letter from Massachusetts..."
Her: "I filed your 2002 tax return?"
Me: "No. Can I please explain this?"
Her: "Okay."
Me: "Okay, so in 2002, [xxx] at H & R Block filed my tax return. In December 2005, I got a letter..."
Her: "In 2002?"

Imagine 20 minutes of this, and maybe it makes sense why I started yelling. I don't yell a lot. The last time I yelled at a company was in 2003, when my bank lost a $500 deposit for five days.

So finally, after yelling over and over again, "Please let me explain. Please just let me explain the whole thing," she let me explain.

Then she wanted me to go back to the District Office and talk to a THIRD person about everything, because she had no idea who I was. Then she decided she wanted me to fax over all the documents immediately, right now.

So I went to Staples and blew $17 to fax the letter, my letter I sent with the amended tax return, and the amended tax return. Then she called me and complained because I hadn't sent the original tax return too, which would probably cost another $17 to fax.

Oh! And then I said, "Would you happen to have the address for H & R Block's corporate offices? Because I'm going to file a complaint." And she said, "No." I said, "You don't have the address? Or there isn't an H & R Block corporate office?" and she said "No."

(Thankfully, a quick search turned it right up. God bless teh Intarwebs!)

So yesterday I sent off all the documentation to District Office lady, and a nasty letter and all the documentation to H & R Block corporate, although I now feel like Hans Brix in Team America: "We will be very angry with you, and we will write you a letter telling you how angry we are!"

P.S. Why do the IRS and various Departments of Revenue have to pick on freelance copyeditors who make $22,000 a year? "Yes, you weren't nearly poor ENOUGH in 2002. Let's make you totally destitute!"