The reason litmags take so long to respond to your (amazing and earth-shattering, I'm sure) submission is:
1) They have piles and piles and piles of amazing and earth-shattering submissions just like yours;
2) Readership is declining, but submissions are increasing (see #1).
Please go ahead and "fight back," though. I'd sure love to see that.
P.S. It's "cubicle." And "that."